I really hope that next time I’m The Little Mermaid
Who doesn’t love a Kinder Egg?
Granted, with them having brought out genderised toys
‘this one has pink to show it’s for girls
and this one’s got blue on it to show it’s for boys’
it’s harder to love them than it once was
if we’re honest everybody loves a kinder egg.
Like a child who doesn’t instinctively like the song ‘Yellow Submarine’
there’s probably something, possibly, a bit wrong if you don’t.
You go into a shop and you are attracted to them
Somewhere in your brain:
‘i want the kinder egg,
i must have the kinder egg’
Sometimes you manage to resist
but all too often you fall for it’s charms
You unwrap it
It looks good
It smells good
You split it open and it tastes good
You consume it
Then you realise you’re still left with what’s inside.
Sometimes you might disregard it immediately
Never considering what the contents of that little yellow plastic shell were
Other times you open it
and despite it feeling complete
you find it in pieces
some sort of puzzle to try and put together
and you consider the merits of doing so
you find it too time consuming
so you give up
On other occasions it’s a tiny terrapin
or a troll or a hippo thing
It sits on the desk, there to make you smile on a bad day
It may be that it’s colours start to fade over time,
it’s appearance no longer pleasing to you
You start thinking
it’s just in the way
you throw it away
Or you move jobs and leave it behind
From time to time your thoughts may drift to the memory of your beloved toy
but it’s only a fleeting thought and it’s gone a few seconds later.
Once in a blue moon though
you open it up
and it’s everything you hoped and dreamed it would be
it’s a shrek
or a disney princess.
F**k! It’s Ariel!
You treasure it
You blue-tac it onto your computer monitor
No matter what happens, it’s not going anywhere.
Tiny turtles and other such may be at it’s side
and come and go
but this one
you’re keeping forever